The Power of Why: How Knowing Your Purpose Tames the Mum Guilt

Some mornings feel like a marathon before 8am.

You’re trying to get breakfast into little mouths, find matching socks, answer that urgent Slack message with one hand while wrangling a toddler with the other. And when you finally shut the door behind you, daycare drop-off tears still ringing in your ears, that familiar feeling creeps in… the guilt. Why am I doing this again?

It’s a question many of us ask on the tough days. But I’ve learned that asking that question on purpose — and having a really clear answer — can be the difference between barely surviving and actually thriving.

Your why is your anchor

When I say “your why,” I mean the deep reason you’re doing what you do. The bigger vision. The one that goes beyond just paying bills or ticking off KPIs. Maybe your why is creating a better future for your kids. Maybe it’s showing your daughter what’s possible when a woman leads. Maybe it’s building something of your own, proving to yourself (and your inner critic) that yes, you can be both an incredible mum and an ambitious professional. Whatever it is, when you know it, really feel it, it becomes your anchor.

Mum guilt loses its power when you have purpose

It’s not that the guilt disappears. But when you have a clear why, you can meet that guilt with compassion and remind yourself, This is for something. It’s not just daycare drop-offs and deadlines; it’s part of a vision. A legacy, even. And suddenly, the hard days have meaning. The grind isn’t just grind. It’s momentum.

It gives the daily juggle a sense of fulfilment

Without a why, the days blur. You can end up just going through the motions work, home, repeat, wondering if it’s all worth it. But when you’re grounded in your purpose, there’s direction. Even the smallest tasks can feel connected to something bigger. That 3pm meeting? It’s building the skills you’ll need to go after that promotion.That late-night deck? It’s for the business you’re dreaming of launching.Those hours your little one spends at kindy? They’re giving you space to grow, for them as much as for you.

So how do you find your why?

Start with these questions:

• What kind of life do I want to model for my kids?

• What would fulfil me, even if no one else saw it?

• What do I want all this effort to lead to?

Your why doesn’t have to be fancy. But it does have to be true. You’ll know you’ve landed on it when it makes you sit a little straighter — or cry a little (in a good way).

Keep it somewhere you can see it

Write your why on a sticky note. Make it your phone background. Say it out loud before you start your day. Because there will be mornings when everything feels like too much. And on those days, your why will be your lifeline. A quiet, steady reminder: This matters. I matter. And I’m doing this for something real.

You’re not just surviving the juggle. You’re building something beautiful one daycare drop-off, one boardroom meeting, one cup of cold coffee at a time.